Would you like to SEE what a personal relationship with God is like?

I am a living example of one who God has shown mercy and grace. I was a sheltered, naive and literal minded individual and because of my gullibility and vulnerability I spent 50 years of my life as a walking dead woman completely controlled by religion. Being conscious of my spiritual need from a higher power to govern my path I put implicit trust in Religion. In religion I was lost and had no way out because I could not differentiate Religion from God. When I accepted religion I only did so because I was told that I could have a personal relationship with God and could be God’s friend. After looking for God in religion for 23 years I found God on my way down.

For 30 years I have kept a record or documented a two way dialogue with God.

I am 71 years old and I have had religion for 51 years and a personal relationship with God for 29 years. From personal experience I can tell you and I can SHOW you that there is a difference in just having religion and in having a personal relationship with God.

I am not looking to be connected to individuals or groups who have gone beyond religion in their own “WAY”. I am not looking for a new religion title “Beyond Religion”. All I want is to share my works beyond religion. My personal experience has been to go beyond religion into a personal relationship with my heavenly FATHER.

God created each individual and gave all of his children gifts, talents and abilities to be used for the benefit of humanity. Sadly most do not find their God given purpose, therefore, robbing others of the blessings of God that we are to share with each other! What I really want to share is what I found beyond religion into a personal relationship whit God my Creator.

I am not suggesting that one should leave their religion of choice and make “Beyond Religion” their NEW RELIGION! Nor am I suggesting that everyone SHOULD have the same relationship as I have with God! God created us as individuals and I believe he deals with humans individually.

Without religion I would not have came to know God. And without the constant encouragement from my religion to develop a personal relationship with God I would never have became connected to God. Before I became connected to God I heard people say they had a personal relationship with God. I often wondered what a personal relationship with God would be like. I asked those who declare having a personal relationship with God what it is like to have a personal relationship with God. I was always told that it meant to serve him and keep his commandments. I could never visualize or create in my mind exactly what would take place between God and a human being. God has told me that my purpose is to SHOW what a personal relationship with him is like.

Over the years I became more and more confused and frustrated; because after 23 years of seeking to hear from God I had not received one word. But at the point of giving up and at the brink of insanity God made a connection to me. I cannot tell you how to connect to God, but I can tell you and show you what I did and what happen to me before and after God connected to me. I believe that one reason that many who desire to connect to God do not do so is because they try to do something to cause God to connect to them. My mind-set before I connected to God was to expect that what I did in my so called “religious works” would cause God to take notice of me. After years (23) of working to get God to notice and to connect to me I realized that all of my works had not brought me to God or into a personal relationship with Him. God made a connection to me only after I realized I couldn’t do anything or be righteous enough so as to have Him connect to me.

I didn’t know what was going on inside me. I could not understand why I could be so miserable when I was trying to be a good person and trying with all my heart to please God. I wanted to know WHY I was experiencing so much pain.

God connected to me by revealing to me my true identity. I needed valid credentials to come before God. I tried to use my religious works as credentials to get God to connect to me or to have a personal relationship with me. I was confused and had no idea as to who I really was. My true identity (individuality, uniqueness, distinctiveness, characteristics, self, character, personality) was a mystery me. The key to knowing God’s plan for my life was to get to know myself. You might think that your mama knows you or that your daddy, brothers, sisters, or friends know you or most of all that you know yourself. But the truth is that only God, your Creator knows who you are, who He created you to be.

Until January 1, 1985 I had absolutely no idea who I was and knew not how I would ever find out who I was. On that date the Holy Spirited directed me to pick up the Bible translation: “THE BIBLE IN LIVING ENGLISH” and directed me to read Psalm 139. I read:

Jehovah, you have sounded me and know me,
You know my sitting down and my standing up,
You far away are aware of what I have in my mind.
You itemize my traveling about and my lying down to rest,
and are familiar with my courses.
When a word is not on my tongue,
There you, Jehovah, know the whole of it.
You hem me in behind and before
and lay your hand on me
it is inaccessible; I am not capable of it.
Where shall I go from your spirit?
And where shall I get away from your face?
If I go up in the sky you are there;
And let me make my bed in the realm of death, there you are.
Let me lift the wings of dawn
And alight at the back of the west,
Even there your hand will be leading me
and your right hand grasping me.
And do I say “I will just have darkness shroud me
and night enclose me,
Even darkness does not make it too dark for you
And night is light as day;
The darkness and the light are alike.
For it was you that built my vitals,
were weaving me together in my mother’s body
I acclaim you that you are fearfully mysterious,
mysterious are your works, and my soul knows it well.
My bones were not unknown to you
as I was made in secret,
stitched in and underground place.
Your eye saw my germs,
and they were all registered in your book;
Many days they were shaped,
and not one of them was lost.
And what a stupendous thing to me
are the objects of your concern, Jehovah!
how multitudinous is their sum!
I count them—they outnumber the sand;
I make and end—I am still at you.
If you are killing a wrong-doer, God, and bloodstained men, turn aside from me;
Those who perversely disobey you,
futilely set themselves up against you,
Do I not hate those who hate you, Jehovah,
and loathe those who stand up against you?
I hate them with utmost hate;
they have become enemies of mine.
Search me, Deity, and know my heart,
test me and know my ideas,
And see if I have in me a course that leads to pain,
and lead me on the course that lasts forever.

When I read: “Show me, Deity, and know my heart, test me and know my ideas, And see if I have in me a c Therefore, when I read: “Show me, Deity, and know my heart, test me and know my ideas, And see if I have in me a course that leads to pain, and lead me on the course that last forever.” a little fire started in my heart. And now 27 years later my heart is filled with a fire like the fire Nebuchadnezzar had Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego was thrown into. My heart is on fire to tell the world that God is nothing like religion picture Him. I pray that all religious people go beyond religion and get to know God personally and have God tell them personally who HE is and who they are and what HIS purpose for them is and what their gifts are.

The years following God spoke to me by means of the Holy Spirit, telling me in great details my “painful ways”. I did not want to forget what the Holy Spirit revealed to me. I started recording in a journal what God said to me by means of the Holy Spirit. After 27 year I had at long last got a two-way conversation with God. When God first started communicating with me my faith was weak, I had doubts and fears and some times question if God was really communicating with me or if it was all in my mind or that I might just really be crazy. I wasn’t sure of the voice (spiritual) I was hearing, therefore, I referred to it as: “My Little Voice Number One” or “LV1”.

Before Religion found me I felt no shame, guilt, condemnation or fear of God. Religion made me aware of how sinful I am and made me feel compelled to work at becoming righteous. My relationship with religion and my relationship with God is completely opposite. Having a relationship or a connection with God is not like having affiliation with religion. Religion tells you to "Do this! Don't do that”. In religion I worshiped God with my flesh and was constantly made aware of my unrighteousness and made to feeling guilty and sinful always trying to DO something to stop my pain and fear of death because of failing to meet my religious obligations.

The moment I embraced and made the words at Psalms 139:23, 24 my own instantaneously I felt a “transformation” of my mind and my heart. Words cannot explain or describe the transformation that has taken place in my mind and heart over the past 27 years.

To enable me to share my experience you must know HOW God communicates with me. Of course I do not hear a voice from heaven telling me what to do.
Hebrews 10:16, Hebrews 8:10 and Jeremiah 31:33 states that God will put his laws in our mind and write them on our hearts. This is exactly what has been happening to me personally. It is absolutely imperative that one read the Bible and know what it says because God uses his Word the Bible to communicate with humans. God has spoke many things to me that do not agree with Religion but never, not once has he told me anything that does not agree with his word the Bible! The way in which God communicate ME (my personal experience) is very simple to ME. He gives me a Scripture then he gives me a picture and then a poem.

As I said when God first started communicating with me my faith was weak, I had doubts and fears and some times question if God was really communicating with me or if it was all in my mind or that I might just really be crazy. The first individual I told God speaks to me rebuked me and asked me who did I think I was that God would speak to me directly and that God does not speak to individuals today. This made me doubt even more. I recalled the Scripture at Psalms 144:3 (O LORD, what are human beings that you should notice them, mere mortals that you should think about them?). Thereafter I no longer told any one God speaking to me.

It may seem strange or “haughty” but my relationship with God has been all about getting to know myself the individual he created and my purpose in life and how he feels about me. The more God tell me about myself the greater he become in my eyes. In religion I always felt insignificant, condemned and hypocritical because I could not do all that my religion required but pretended to do so. I hated my life and had no desire to live another day not even to mention forever. For 23 years I endured religion. I lived a life of restraint and repressing all thoughts and feelings that made me feel ashamed or guilty. Religion made me feel that I was never doing ENOUGH but God made me feel like I was in Good hands and that he was going to FIX what was wrong with me.

After receiving thousands of words from God explaining my ideas and painful ways I was still filled with questions. One day God said to me: "You have heard it said that a picture is worth a thousand words. I will now give you pictures to SHOW you your painful ways. Go buy a sketch pad and magic markers and I will give you the ability to draw images that will show you what is in you that is causing you pain". LV1:

I reminded God that I did not know how to draw. But I did as he told me and that was the beginning of God giving me pictures. The pictures I drew was frighten to me. Most of the first pictures I drew no one has ever seen. Over a period of about three years I drew and painted over 2000 images all revealing to me who I am and my purpose. Every time I became confused and filled with too many disquieting thoughts and pray to God to give me his peace he told me that I already had the words and images that he had given me.

For example: God told me that I had low self-esteem but he did not just say “You have low self-esteem” but he gave me a poem and a picture that I had been given several years earlier that showed HOW I felt and WHY.

Shot from a burning arrow into a flaming womb
Was it a random choice to a bride from a groom?

Was it by chance or was it all a plan?

Did I win the battle because I was strong?
I made it but was it a mistake or was it all wrong?

In a split second I could have been someone else or not at all
I know that I am not here because of humans plan

No one said it’s just what I wanted! It’s a girl!
Welcome to the world!

Did God in heaven rejoice when I was born?
Did the angels in heaven rejoice when I was born?

Or was it a sad occasion, just another sin child added to the world?

I never felt that my parents wanted me I felt like an accident that got them in trouble. But I was not aware of this or knew the affect it had on me. God showed me that this was the beginning of my feeling pain. Then God gave me this poem:


The Great King of all kings gave one of his little seedlings to a beautiful young woman and man. But they had to give the little seedling back because they were too young to take care of it.

Then the Great King of all kings gave that little seedling to an old man and woman. They had to give the little seedling back because they were too old to take care of it.

Even again the Great King of all kings gave his little seedling to a great and famous man. But he had to travel all over the world and didn’t have time to care for the little seedling, so he too had to give the little seedling back to the Great King of all kings.

Next the Great king of all kings gave his little seedling to a group of people to take care of it. But the little seedling was too complicated and the group didn’t know how to care for the little seedling. They too had to give the little seedling back to the Great King of all kings.

The Great King of all kings said he would try just once more to find someone to care for his little seedling. This time he gave his little seedling to a strong and powerful businessman. This time the Great King of all kings gave the little seedling special abilities to be used by the strong and powerful businessman but he refused to accept the little seedling.

So the Great King of all kings said he would take care of his little seedling himself. The little seedling grew well under the care of the Great King of all kings into a large tree that produced fruit for the whole world. Just one little leaf from this large tree reflected God’s glory.

This poem propelled me beyond religion into a personal relationship with my HEAVENLY FATHER, my CREATOR!!! My personal relationship with God is about identity. Who Am I? Why am I here? Where Do I Fit? There is not one dull moment between God and me!!! I found religion to be mind-numbing and very painful. Yes God does make me feel good about myself, he boost my self-esteem, my self-worth and my self-respect. But not because of anything I DO but because I know that I belong to him!!! It is like being a homeless child and finding out that you belong to a King and a Queen!

My relationship with God reminds me of Mephibosheth in the Bible eat 2 Samuel 9:1-13

“1 David's Kindness to Mephibosheth. Now David said, "Is there still anyone who is left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan's sake?"
2 And there was a servant of the house of Saul whose name was Ziba. So when they had called him to David, the king said to him, "Are you Ziba?" He said, "At your service!"
3 Then the king said, "Is there not still someone of the house of Saul, to whom I may show the kindness of God?" And Ziba said to the king, "There is still a son of Jonathan who is lame in his feet."
4 So the king said to him, "Where is he?" And Ziba said to the king, "Indeed he is in the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, in Lo Debar."
5 Then King David sent and brought him out of the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, from Lo Debar.
6 Now when Mephibosheth the son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, had come to David, he fell on his face and prostrated himself. Then David said, "Mephibosheth?" And he answered, "Here is your servant!"
7 So David said to him, "Do not fear, for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan your father's sake, and will restore to you all the land of Saul your grandfather; and you shall eat bread at my table continually."
8 Then he bowed himself, and said, "What is your servant, that you should look upon such a dead dog as I?"
9 And the king called to Ziba, Saul's servant, and said to him,"I have given to your master's son all that belonged to Saul and to all his house.
10 You therefore, and your sons and your servants, shall work the land for him, and you shall bring in the harvest, that your master's son may have food to eat. But Mephibosheth your master's son shall eat bread at my table always." Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.
11 Then Ziba said to the king, "According to all that my lord the king has commanded his servant, so will your servant do." "As for Mephibosheth," said the king, "he shall eat at my table like one of the king's sons."
12 Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Micha. And all who dwelt in the house of Ziba were servants of Mephibosheth.
13 So Mephibosheth dwelt in Jerusalem, for he ate continually at the king's table. And he was lame in both his feet.”
I was cripple mentally, emotionally and spiritually but I didn’t know it because as long as I fulfilled my religious obligations my religion declared me righteous. I felt much like the Pharisee who prayed:

“The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector.” (Luke 18:11)

My religious works incited me to feel righteous and to exalt myself. Because of my religious works I felt God should bless me and became confused and upset when he did not. As God progressively showed me my “painful ways” and sat me on a straight path I begin to see and appreciate my need for God’s mercy and grace. Strange but the more I saw my imperfections and sinfulness the better I felt about myself. It was like being sick and going to the doctor and being told that there is a cure for what ails you. It is easier to live with your sins and imperfections than trying to convince yourself and others that you are righteous! It is better to humble yourself than to exalt yourself.

For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. (Matthew 23:12)

I came to feel as Mephibosheth. “"What is your servant, that you should look upon such a dead dog as I?" Several years before my coming to feel this way, God had given me a picture and a poem telling me what was and what would be in my heart.

Step by step my Master walked me through life’s maze
Hand and hand we walked together, even when I thought I was alone

When I thought I had no helper my Master were there in all his grace

When I could not manage my life
His Holy Spirit became my guide

I am an old dog unable to bark but my Master still gives me a home
He needs no watchdog because he know everything that goes on

I am safe! I have still got a home. I have lost my sense of smell
but my Master can read my heart, therefore, he knows when I am happy
even though I can’t even wag my tail

I am unable to do anything for my Master I am worthless in the eyes of some
but to my Master I know I am very precious

I am never afraid I know I will never be alone!
because with my Master I always have a home

Most don’t know what I am because I look a little strange
They look at me and don’t know if they can lead me with a leach or a rein

You may not know what I am but my Father does and how you see me
is not necessarily how my Father see me!

I am not trying to be an expert on anything. This book is much like an abstract work of art. As you look at the words and images I believe they will cause you to feel and think for yourself. The images will cause you to go beyond religion or a belief system and carry you to a place where you can learn to know and accept who you were created to be. A place, were you can become a fully functioning and creative individual. Nor am I saying that God will have everyone draw pictures and writes poems. But just imagine what stories would be told to the world of mankind, each story, each personal experience with God, each experience revealing something about GOD that others might know that others might not know. AWESOME, HOW AWE-INSPIRING!!!

I want to share my struggle in going beyond Religion, getting to know myself and finely getting to know a little about God. I see so many religious people that are unhappy and suffering emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. Also some Religious people are doing things that they do not want to do. I believe that my experience can be of some help to these people.

I cannot believe that God allowed me to experience what I experienced without some purpose. Those who I am able to share just a little of my experience and gifts with are impressed and most of all my works causes them to think and feel that which they say they have not been able to deal with. Some even say my works are too deep and makes them think and feel what they do not want to think or feel. I repressed my feelings and refused to think and feel for years and I know the results of not allowing yourself to feel and think.

When Jesus was on earth he taught with illustrations. He is the Great Teacher and nothing has changed. I have received hundreds of illustrations to help me understand myself and God’s purpose for my life. One of the most compelling illustrations that I received is the one below.

I named this image or illustration “THIRD DIMENSION”. My interpretation of this picture is: The first dimension represents the religious part of me, an outwardly well-put together woman but too green to know the truth. The second dimension represents the real me that was not known by my religious associates and in many ways not known by myself. I was too yellow to face the truth. The third dimension represents the person I become when I go beyond religion and enter into the presence of God, where I am completely controlled by God’s Holy Spirit, at which time I am a woman full of fertile seeds that produces an abundance of good fruits.

Before I could go beyond Religion I had to enter into the spiritual, the “THIRD DIMENSION”, into the presence of God. I had to leave the “first dimension” where I allowed myself to be declared righteous or good by trying to follow laws. I had to fearlessly enter into the “second dimension” Where I had to get naked as it were and look at the lies, anger, shame, guilt, fear, hate and all that dwells within my imperfect human nature. I had to allow Jesus Christ to be my Savior and stop trying to be saved by my religious works. And after Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the Savior had covered my nakedness (my sins), once He has clothed me with the Holy Spirit, then and only then could I enter into the presence of God, the “third dimension” and be controlled by or live by the Holy Spirit. Humans do not have the blueprint of how to connect to God. God’s Word says:
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

It is not easy to enter into the presence of God (have a personal relationship with Him) but once you experience being in God’s presence you will want to remain there forever and forever! What you have just considered is just a hint of my gifts and blessings. It will take many books to tell of God’s goodness that HE has expressed to me.

The words below exemplifies my divinely directed life:

My life is so awesomely full!!
I rejoice in waking up every morning new
because my God has something new for me to do
I don’t have to worry about the anxieties of life
because all I need and more my God ample supply
I wake up early every morning waiting to see what my Father has for me to do
Some days He disciples me revealing my sins for me to see
Some days He just simply sat with me quietly just loving me
Some days He gives me ideas, so I spend the day creating what pleases me
Some days He doesn’t tell me exactly what to do, so I rejoice in just waiting
Some days He sends me to someone who needs the love he has put into my heart
At the end of each day He looks me in the eyes—and just nods
I spend most of my time with my God, my Father
No disrespect he is “My Right Hand Man”
I love to be discipline, to be set straight by my Father
Even though some times it is real painful
But once I have been set on the straight path, once I have been informed
I rejoice because in my Father and his son Jesus I have learned to trust

When I lie down at night I can sleep in peace
because I have spent the day with my Father and my savior Jesus Christ
When I go to bed at night I say to my Father and my savior Jesus Christ

Then I sleep like a baby while they watch over me

(Not a representation of God. Just my child like imagination)

After sleeping like a baby I get up and follow God’s plans for my day. I do not hear God’s voice. God put his thoughts in my mind and heart and I put them on paper. I have done this for 25 years and I know that God’s purpose for me is to show what a personal relationship with him can be like. This is my experience I am not saying that others should experience a personal relationship with God the same as I do. I respect and appreciate how God deals with each individual as he pleases. I do not claim to know how God will deal with each individual. All I claim to know is that God does indeed communicate with me!

The Bible puts it this way:

“For this is the covenant that I shall conclude with the house of Israel after those days,” is the utterance of Jehovah. “I will put my law within them, and in their heart I shall write it. And I will become their God, and they themselves will become my people.”
“And they will no more teach each one his companion and each one his brother, saying, ‘KNOW Jehovah!’ for they will all of them know me, from the least one of them even to the greatest one of them,” is the utterance of Jehovah. “For I shall forgive their error, and their sin I shall remember no more.” (Jeremiah 31:33)

I recognize that these Scriptures are directed specifically to the Israelites but I know that Gods speaks to me in this way also. I speak (pray) to God and he informs me by putting his thought into my mind and heart and I write our conversations on paper and in time what I write on paper materialize in the physical or natural. It is easy for me to tell someone that God told me to do something. My saying God told me—means very little unless I am able to give tangible evidence. I am convinced beyond any doubt that God communicates with me directly by putting his thoughts in my mind and heart because I have been given so much tangible evidence over the past 25 years.

Over the past 27 years I have progressively allowed God to direct my life more and more each day. After 27 years I am able to have all of my daily activities dictated to me by means of the Holy Spirit. This is not because I am more righteous or have special might, to the contrary!

My childhood was one of total dependence on my grandparents. I was not taught to do anything for myself. My grandparents took care of my every need and in most cases all my desires. For years I thought my grandparents caused me a great harm by not teaching me how to live in the real world. And if indeed God had not chosen to show me undeserved kindness and personally direct my life I would have suffered unimaginable harm! So was it “good” or “bad” that I was made to be dependent? I do not know. All that matters to me is that God brought me to a place where I needed and wanted divine direction.

From my early years I came to appreciate that for me personally it was not “bad” to be dependant. I realized that if my grandmother determined that I couldn’t do something she would do it for me. When I was unable to do what she told me to do she would say:
“You don't know how to pour piss out of a pot”? In my literal mind I wondered why would anyone want to pour piss out of a pot. You see we didn’t have indoor plumbing and used chamber pot to do our “business” in. I looked at that chamber pot filled with “piss” and some times “# 2” and wondered why in the world would anyone want to learn how to empty that pot! Needless to say I never tried to learned!

My life was slow and easy and I had no desire to change it. For 20 years someone had done my thinking for me, therefore, it was easy for religion to take control of my dependant spirit. Therefore, I welcome religion with open arms! For 23 years I was completely and totally controlled by religion. At the end of 23 years my life was in such chaos until I entertained the thought of killing myself. So at the threshold of death and the brink of insanity my Heavenly Father rescued me and sat me on the straight path!

Doing what God tells me to do always have results; nothing he tells me to do is in vain.

The following is an insert from my writings SHOWING what my relationship with God LOOK like:
Insert from journal—10-08-09 BV1 (Holy Spirit)

You were told that the beads you strong represented people. It is time to get rid of people that influence or control you. Abraham (the one you want to be like) was told to leave his countrymen you too must follow his example. All connections you make to people from now on will be spiritual and for a specific purpose. It is time to make a change. Store away the beads; they are impressive but void of wisdom.

Do not hurry!

You now have space for that special trunk throw the old one away if you like. You can get a new TV and case. Actually you can get anything you want but it must be NEW. Get ride of everything that you do not love.

What do you want?

1. I want a new head board.
2. I want to redo my bed room.

Do not try to save anymore money USE it.

I want to use my brown crazy quilt and my paintings.
I want a new computer desk.
Today I want a stake, and a baked sweet potato
(I got a stake and cooked it and it was so tuff I couldn’t eat it. I don’t want to cook anything)!

Insert from 10-09-09 (2 days later)

“There is no need to regret or look back. If you had not experienced exactly what you have you would not be prepared for use by your Father. The loads you were freed from was man’s loads and not God’s loads. Jesus said his load is light. If you had never carried a heavy man made load you would not know or choose to carry Jesus’ light load.

For 40 years you carried a heavy load that man put on you. Never again will that happen.

For the past six years you have carried a light load, never again will you allow anything or anyone to load you down.

You have no heavy loads to carry and do not try to carry the heavy loads of others.

Store away the things the Holy Spirit tells you to and put the things others can use on the table in the lobby and throw out what the Holy Spirit directs you to throw out.

I have got down to things I need and want but I feel that I still have too much.

BV1 (Holy Spirit)
“Yes you do and since you cannot know what you are to use in the future allow the Holy Spirit to tell you what to throw away.

This is what you should do:
1. Keep all the beads because they represent people and will be used in a project.
2. Do not create anymore art now—use the ideas you have for the few frames you have.
3. Throw out the frames you will not use under your bed. See if your grandson can use the brown frames.
4. Keep the sterling silver.

Once you put away the beads you will be able to see the difference.

Do not rush learn from the process!

You lived in a “BLACK AND WHITE WORLD” from 1985 until 1993 and a “COLORFUL CREATIVE WORLD” from 1993 until 2009. Now it is time for a change. Now is time for you to make another change. You followed God’s directions in 1993 do the same now.


FIRST—change the book shelves. Clear it out first and put what you do not need into storage.

SECOND—put away the beads. Do not throw them away or give them away—you know what you are supposed to do with them later. No do not store away the unstrung beads.

THIRD—find a chest to go behind the chair in the living room—find one with storage.

Try furniture outlet stores and sales.

FOURTH—throw out or give away dresser, T.V. and T.V. cabinet. Buy T.V. and stand and replace with anything you like for the space.

FIFTH—buy computer desk and chair. Give away what you have now.

SIXTH—buy small chest

SEVENTH—buy or make head board for bed. Make brown pillows. Paint cheese boxes brown. Buy brown rug. Put us new pictures. Create new window treatment. EVERYTHING MUST BE NEW!!!

The only thing that you absolutely must do is to NOT buy anything used or secondhand! There is a completely different mentality in buying secondhand stuff and new stuff.

Don’t rush!

Look around you now and decide for yourself what to do in the living room. The issue is not about taking away your free will. The purpose is to teach you how to be specific in following the lead of the Holy Spirit. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you in transforming the bedroom and your free will in transforming the living room. Observe the difference.

You judge people negatively who spend a lot of money on things. Stop judging at all! STOP BEING CHEAP!!!

There was a time when you were attracted to gold. Man has made gold expensive, but did not God give you all the gold jewelry that you desired? Get your gold out and wear it and see that wearing what man says or labor as expensive will affect how you feel about yourself.

Insert 10-25-09 8:14 A.M.

Make plans for this week
Ask grandson to get boxes
Monday—finish pillows
Tuesday—can be a free day
Wednesday—continue putting the beads away
Thursday—take care of business
Friday—take care of business
Saturday—free for whatever
Sunday—free for whatever

10-30-09 1:08 PM

BV1 (Holy Spirit)

You were told to make a change in the natural, now you are experiencing a change in the spiritual. You were told that the beads represent the people in your life—as you are putting away the beads you were symbolic or figurative putting away or separating from the people that God do not want in your life at this time. Once you finish putting the beads away that the Holy Spirit induces you to put away you will have only the beads that you will use to embellish the clothing you wear. And so it will be with the people in your life. You will understand later.

11-1-09 12:13 AM

BV1 (Holy Spirit)

Enjoy the process!

The process is what I get a high on. I have an addiction to seeing God’s Holy Spirit working or operating. I have spent the past 25 years experiencing the results of watching what God says to me come to pass!

11-3-09 1:38 PM

BV1 (Holy Spirit)

It is not WHAT you have in your newly decorated bedroom it is what you will come to know and understand what is represented by the change.

1-16-10 1:11 PM

Over a period of about 2 months I made a complete transformation of my bedroom. Doing that period of time God continued to write detail instructions on my heart and mind as to what I should do and not do in the transformation of my bedroom.









I realize that there is nothing unusual or supernatural whit redecorating a room. But those 2 months I spent following divine directions from my heavenly Father was much like the time a child spends with their earthly human father. The more time I spend with God the more REAL he is to me and the closer I get to him and the better I get to know him!

I can vividly see the time I spent with my grandfather. It was the time that I spent alone with my grandfather that made me part of him. He is with me today more than he was 52 years and 10 months when he died. I remember his strong hand reaching down to lift me upon the back of his untamed stallion and taking me for a wild ride. I had absolutely no fear of being harmed because I trusted my grandfather to take care of me. It is mystifying to me how similar my experiences with God are to some of my experiences with my grandfather.

I remember having a dream about God taking me in his arm and taking me above the world and showing me his creative power. The dream gave me a similar felling to what I felt when my grandfather would take me for a ride on his horse named “Buck”( my grandfather called the horse buck because they said: “That horse if a bucking fool”). Couldn’t anyone ride Buck but my grandfather and my uncle Ed. (And of course me, in my grandfather’s arms)!

The times that are outstanding in my mind of being with my grandfather were being lifted up high. He was always lifting me up in his arms, upon his horse or upon his wagon. When I am with my Heavenly Father I always feel like I am being lifted up in mind, heart, spirit, character, confidence, self-worth, self-esteem, self-respect, self-love and all that is needed for me to become a fully functioning human being.

When I was twenty my husband decided to get religion and told me I would be getting it too. We started to study the Bible but what I learned did not impress me. I came to feel obligated and duty-bound to God. I reconciled in my mind to spend the rest of my life being a servant of God because he is worthy. In my mind I became a slave to God but not in my heart. I didn’t know God I just worked for him.

For 23 years I worked for God and felt like a slave. I had and have no objection to serving God or being his slave for indeed he is more than worthy! But I felt something was missing. I wanted God to feel about me the way the Bible said he felt about Abraham. I wanted more than anything, more than life to be God’s friend. I wanted God to speak to me personally as he did Abraham and other humans I read about in the Bible.

What I experience does not originate in my mind. I read a Scripture or a story in the Bible and it becomes my own experience. There are certain Scriptures in the Bible that I cannot get out of my mind. The first Scripture that captured my heart was the Scripture that makes reference to a man name Abraham being God’s friend. I never had any interest in religion and knew next to nothing about God. But the thought of being able to communicate with God, to have a personal relationship with God, to be God’s friend was the greatest brain wave I have ever experienced. I was hooked and became a junkie or addicted to the idea!

The two Scriptures below are the very first Scriptures that I made my own experience:
“And [so] the Scripture was fulfilled that says, Abraham believed in (adhered to, trusted in, and relied on) God, and this was accounted to him as righteousness (as conformity to God’s will in thought and deed), and he was called God’s friend.” (James 2:23). AMPLIFIED BIBLE

“But you, Israel, My servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham My friend, ” ( Isaiah 41:8 ). AMPLIFIED BIBLE

My style of dress was an issue in my religious circle because I designed and made my clothes and they were too different and too fancy. I dressed down trying to keep peace. But I felt uncomfortable and even guilty because my style of dress was sometimes referred to as “worldly”. I repressed my real person for 33 years but in 1993 God told me:
LV1 (Holy Spirit)
God told you that you are like a peacock bird who’s tail has been cut and bound and not allowed to grow. In the hand of man you were programmed to be what they wanted you to be. Since 1-6-85 you have been in the hand of your Heavenly Father and you can SEE the results. Fill your mind and heart with what you can see and not what humans try to tell you. God has told you and shown you what he see when he look at you and you are no longer concern with human’s opinions of your spiritual person or your physical person. Accept into your life only those who see what God see when he look at you. Do not be afraid to let your Father cloth you.<

Also, on the matter of clothing, why are YOU anxious? Take a lesson from the lilies of the field, how they are growing; they do not toil, nor do they spin; 29 but I say to YOU that not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. 30 If, now, God thus clothes the vegetation of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much rather clothe YOU, YOU with little faith? 31 So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to put on?’ 32 For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. For YOUR heavenly Father knows YOU need all these things. (Matthew 6:28-32)

The two outfits below is just the beginning.
EMBRACE all the glory that your Heavenly Father will reflect upon you.

In 1993 I created this outfit from a curtain I bought at Goodwill for a few dollars. It was off white, I tie-dyed it. On 6-7-06 I found this picture of a peacock and thought that my designer and this bird's designer could be the same designer! I realize that I really do not have to be anxious about what I am to put on or anything else! Praise giving of thanks to God Almighty!

If God had not put in my heart and mind that I was like a peacock and if I had seen these birds first and then made the outfits I would not be so impress with my daily life experiences. My life is so exhilarating! I love my life; I love every breath I take! I cannot believe that I once hated my life and prayed to die even though I was "serving" God. This is just a mere instance of what I experience in my constant walk with God and his son Jesus! These are tangible manifestation of my benefits of having a personal relationship with God beyond religion. There is nothing in the natural that can make known what I experience in the spiritual. But perhaps yon can appreciate the gifts and wisdom that I bring from the spiritual.

My very first step beyond religion was to find my true identity. I tried to find my true identity in my religious work and what people told me about myself. Until 1-6-85 I had no idea of who I was and knew not how I would ever find out who I was. On that date the Holy Spirit directed me to pick up the bible translation: “THE BIBLE IN LIVING ENGLISH” and directed me to read Psalm 139.

After I read all the words of Psalms 139 I knew where in lie the answer to who I am and from that moment until forever I shall not look to or trust human beings to tell me who and what I am! The moment I read the last two verses of Psalms 139 my heart grabbed on to those words like a hungry baby to its mother’s breast and refuses to let go until it is full. I am not full yet!!!

I hold on to these words:

“search me Deity, and know my heart,
test me and know my ideas,
And see if I have in me a course that leads to pain,
and lead me on the course that last forever.”

In the past 27 years my Heavenly Father has shown me what was in my heart that caused me pain both physical and emotionally. And he has indeed leads me on a course with him that last forever! I have enough tangible evidence to tell and write about for the rest of my life. But the spiritual benefits that I have received from being in a personal relationship with God beyond religion cannot be known by the imperfect human mind.

I make no attempt to do so. All I want is to share the wisdom that God allows to pass through my mind and heart.

A few months ago I was referred to as: “visual artist, spoken poet, author” I kind of like those words, they have a nice little ring to them and I will accept them. But to tell the truth I am God’s little puppet name Thingamajig! I have a little story about that; I have a little story about everything that I am. But just think of what a puppet does.

One way in which God uses me as a puppet is to record poetry.
God recorded this poem in my heart and mind telling me one way to share my wisdom.

“God’s Little Seedling”

The Great King of all kings gave one of his little seedlings to a beautiful young woman and man. But they had to give the little seedling back because they were too young to take care of it.

Then the Great King of all kings gave that little seedling to an old man and woman. They had to give the little seedling back because they were too old to take care of it.

Even again the Great King of all kings gave his little seedling to a great and famous man. But he had to travel all over the world and didn’t have time to care for the little seedling, so he too had to give the little seedling back to the Great King of all kings.

Next the Great king of all kings gave his little seedling to a group of people to take care of it. But the little seedling was too complicated and the group didn’t know how to care for the little seedling. They too had to give the little seedling back to the Great King of all kings.

The Great King of all kings said he would try just once more to find someone to care for his little seedling. This time he gave his little seedling to a strong and powerful businessman. This time the Great King of all kings gave the little seedling special abilities to be used by the strong and powerful businessman but he refused to accept the little seedling.

So the Great King of all kings said he would take care of his little seedling himself. The little seedling grew well under the care of the Great King of all kings into a large tree that produced fruit for the whole world. Just one little leaf from this large tree reflected God’s glory.

This is one way in which God has revealed to me who I am, what he created me to do, my true identity. God gave me images and poems (in that order) that make it possible for me to see and know who I am.

Am I a tree???
Did God really create me to be a tree???
I must be a tree!!!
Otherwise why are these branches
growing from me???

It is mind-boggling to me how God can tell me who I am or who I will become and I feel that—“I AM”! From the moment God referred to me as a tree I begin to feel like a tree and started referring to myself as a tree. Then I started to research the word “tree” in the Bible. I became like a little child praying and pretending to be a tree. Then the images and words came forth from my childlike free mind. In time I became the child Jesus said I must become to enter the Kingdom of God:

“….Truly I say to you, unless you repent (change, turn about) and become like little children [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiven], you can never enter the kingdom of the heaven [at all].” (Matthew 18:3) AMPLIFIED

“Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive and accept and welcome the kingdom of God like a little child [does] positively shall not enter it at all.” (Mark 10:15) AMPLIFIED

I don’t just read the Bible I become a copycat or try to imitate and experience what I read. It is much like looking at a fashion magazine. I love fashion and make and design most of my clothing. Sometime I will buy a fashion magazine and read it or just page through it looking for ideas. Once in a while I will come across an outfit that I have just got to have, so I copy it, I make the outfit. And so it is with the Bible I will read something in the Bible and I have just got to experience it. This is the first Scripture that enslaved me to seeking to be like a tree:

“…his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night. And he shall be like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper [and com to maturity]. (Psalm 1: 2, 3) AMPLIFIED

I believe that I experience what I do because of my BIG imagination, FULL faith and child like literal approach.

“…and this is only the beginning of what they will do, and now nothing they have imagined they can do will be impossible for them”. (Genesis 11: 6) AMPLIFIED

“And the Lord, answered, if you have faith (trust and confidence in God) even [so small] like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, Be pulled up by the roots, and be planted in the sea, and it would obey you.” (Luke 17: 6) AMPLIFIED

“He said to them, Because of the littleness of your faith [that is, your lack of firmly relying trust]. For truly I say to you, if you have faith [that is living] like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.” (Matthew 17: 20). AMPLIFIED

My progressive growth into a mature tree


If I was a tree
Would God take care of me
I do believe so
I wouldn’t have to wonder, I would know
Today I’ll become a tree
It is a good thing for me
I’ll stand still
I’ll wait for God’s will

I have never been a tree before
But now I am bound to know
Will God make it rain on me
Will he cause the sun to shine on me
Will he cause me to grow
Will he cause fruit from me to flow

Now that I am a tree how am I to know
Now that I am a tree planted by a stream
Will my hopes become a reality
Do I dare to hope and dream

Now that I am a tree, will God
really take care of me
If I blossom and grow
If my fruit is taken from me
Will God to me give more
Now that I am a tree
I am bound to know

You might ask: why do you want to be like a tree?
In many ways a tree is just like me

I don’t know many by name, but when I get to know them
In many ways we are the same

Like the weeping willow I have been weeping most of my life

But after weeping for most of my life I came to know
the BANYAN, one tree that becomes a forest

The BANYAN belong to the mulberry family, which
includes some 800 species of fig plants.

Its beginning is humble, and so is mine

The BANYAN starts its long life from a seed
contained in the droppings of monkeys, birds, or bats
who have eaten the fruit of the BANYAN

I started my life from a humble unmarried female
who received the humble dropping of the male she love

After being victimized the BANYAN is ready to expand
I too after being victimized is ready to expand

Just like the BANYAN, my roots have dropped down into
the soil and taken root

The BANYAN serves as an umbrella of shade for humans
I desire to do likewise

The tree can live up to 600 years
I desire to live a long and purposeful life

My purpose is to share my experience with the world
I have been waiting for a long time
It sometimes seem as if all my fruits is all in vain
But I ask God to save my fruits from the dirt

I am a dying tree
I am loaded down with so much fruit
it is too heavy, it is killing me
I am hidden away where humans don’t go

I am a tree with much fruit to give, but on one knows it is so

I am a giver
I have been looking
But I cannot find a receiver

I am leaning I am about to fall, I live in dread
because if someone don’t find me and take my fruit
I am weighted down and I will soon be dead

I am a dying tree I don’t know what to do
I prayed to God to send me someone to take my fruit
Did he send you?

Insert from journal

9-29-09 8:05 AM


Over the past 20 years God has used trees to help you understand who you are.

Again God will use another tree to help you understand what is happening in your life. This time it is the BONSAI tree.

“Bonsai (pronounced bone-sigh).
Bonsai refers specifically to the training and artistic vision applied to the tree

How are Bonsai kept miniature?
Contrary to some reports, bonsai are not miniaturized by neglect. Quite the opposite! Trees are dwarfed by a combination of techniques. The main methods of dwarfing are planting in a small ceramic pot, foliage pruning, root pruning, and direct exposure to sunlight.

A bonsai is not a genetically dwarfed plant and is not kept small by cruelty in any way. In fact, given an adequate supply of water, air, light and nutrients, a properly maintained bonsai should outlive a full size tree of the same species.

Overall, bonsai are something that are quite personalized and there are no strict rules to abide by if you undertake it merely as a hobby which to gain enjoyment out of. It does not have to be an expensive commitment, but it is a commitment that requires a great amount of time, patience, skill and endurance ( FROM THE INTERNET) BV1 (Holy Spirit) Your Heavenly Father put you in a small place for your safety. If God had not hindered your growth you would have grown into something that he did not created you to be. Much like the bonsai tree he has committed himself to controlling your development. He has chosen a small container to put you in and has personalized (modified, tailored, adapted, made to order) you to fulfill his purpose for you.

I do not claim to have special knowledge my knowledge is from my Heavenly Father. All that I have belong to my Heavenly Father. But I do know my purpose. I am an example of a personal relationship with God beyond religion. The past 25 years I have been in the process of fulfilling my God given purpose.


Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for take off. I am going to take you on a flight beyond religion by means of images and poems.


Getting beyond religion to God to ME
Is like taking a flight on and air plane

You decide that you want to get to God

You have to find a flight
That is going where you want to go

You find religion or it finds you
It tells you it will take you to God

You have to book the flight
You have to get confirmation
You have to go to the airport
Check yourself and your bags in
You have to take off your shoes, coat, jewelry, and electronic devices
And put them all in containers

You choose the religion of your choice
The religion check you out
And gives you confirmation or it approval
You have to go to its place of worship
Religion check your luggage
to see if you are carrying anything that they disapprove
you have to strip down and reveal yourself to your religious leaders

You have got to go under radar
In order to get on the airplane

You have to go under the radar of the religious leaders
In order to get into their religion

You have got to find the gate
that your plane will we departing from

In religion you have got to
find the click you can fit into

at the appointed time
You are allowed to board the airplane
But you must have a boarding pass

In religion After gaining approval
You are allowed in
But you must keep the rules

You must put your carry-on bags above your head or below your feet
You buckle your seat belt and wait for take off
Before taking off you are told to turn off all electronic devices

In religion you must put out of sight all bags of faults
You must turn off your thinking ability
and allow your religious leaders to do your thinking

Taking off is a little bumpy and can some times be very bumpy
And the worst possibility is that your plan crashes on take off

In religion the beginning can be very smooth
But the ride can get very bumpy
And if you are not careful you can crash
And end up dead

After a successful take off
When you are some where in mid air
The captain decides to speak personally to you

He tells you that he has turned off the seat belt sign
You may move on the plan but only as long as the seat belt sign is not on

In religion If your take off is successful
And you find yourself in mid heaven
And God decides to speak to you personally
And he tells you to get off the airplane into his hand
You have just gone beyond religion into God’s own hands

The airplane gets me in the air
with the captain flying the airplane
Without an airplane and a captain
I could not get in the mid-heaven

And so it is with religion
Without religion I would not have gotten to God
The only problem I HAD with religion
Is that after it got me to where I wanted to get (to God)
It demands that I Stay in my seat
And keep my seat belt fasten

When you take an airplane
When you are nearing your destination
The captain tells you to take your seat and fasten your seat belt
and to prepare for landing
and then the air plane, the captain, and crew
take you down slow and easy
Once you have landed
they thank you for flying with them
and invite you to choose them again
They smile at you and say good by

But not so with religion!
Religion seems to wants to keep me strapped in its chair
Not allowing me to unfasten my seat belt
Religion wants to keep me stranded in midair

Our take off was successful
We are flying safety beyond religion
You may unfasten your seat belts
You are free to move about as you please
For snack you will be served
Art and poetry